the here and now

can you see beyond the here and now?
to worlds a thousand miles away
can your mind conceive what happens there?
your heart feel a stranger's pain?

can you see beyond the here and now
to where eternity awaits
do you mourn as one who has no hope?
where does your treasure lay?

'cause there is life there (out) beyond you
and there is life right where you are
and that tension that can tear you (apart)
is same that makes you whole

can you be right in the here and now?
live life like you could die today
can your eyes perceive the meaning in
the things that you see every day

be where you are
let your eyes see far
don't fear a broken heart

be where you are
let your eyes see far
let love break the calloused heart

if i ever

if i ever knew just how you love me
if i understood the way you feel
if i ever called just at the right time
i might know what i'm supposed to do

if i ever saw the view from your side
if i only knew all of the truth
if i could hold my gaze at your eyes
i might always agree with you

but i'm calloused on the inside
i've been crooked way down deep
i am used to just pretending
that i'm as good as i can be

if i ever told you how i love you
if i could ever show the way i feel
if i can stand naked before you
i might have your point of view

but i am calloused on the inside
for so long crooked way down deep
and i'm used to just pretending
that i'm as good as i can be

save me jesus, kill me quickly
i must die a thousand times
before i will believe you love me
before i stop buying my own lies

these words fall easily from my lips
like so many words before
but have i ever really meant them
if i never love you any more

someday i'll see the bigger picture
and not this dim and mirrored view
but until then i'm just trusting
that you love me and i love you

still i'm calloused on the inside
i'm still crooked way down deep
i'm just trying not to pretend
that i'm as good as i can be

take me down

take me down tonight
i realize it's time
to give up the fight
for control of my life

i can't do this anymore
everytime i trip me to the floor
the same old roads
i travel whenever i'm alone

and i feel alone here
trying to escape from myself
but where can i run to
where i would be somebody else

so take me down tonight
i'm tired of asking, "Jesus, why?"
well maybe next time
i will finally get this right

won't you please save me
take me outside of myself
won't you please change me
i wanna love more than myself

under grace

there's a restless longing resting in my heart
where the weakest whisper tears my strength apart
and it's whispering today
all the words i need to say
but i walled the whisper in right from the start

there is a word that can't be captured on a page
where the strongest words still decay and age
and i hear it in my soul
where a sound could tear a hole
in paper castles that i worked so hard to raise

there is a freedom that only chains can give
when temptation always tells me how to live
and it could be that fear
never had much power here
and it is mercy that pulls me to my knees

there is a melody that only love can sing
when beloved lacks the ears and eyes to see
and i think it might be why
all men are born to die
and a death might just be the sweetest thing

there's a restless longing stirring in my heart
where the weakest whisper tears my strength apart
and it's whispering today
all the words i long to say
oh lord, please let that singing start
oh lord, please sing into my heart

a prayer

Lord, you are my gracious King
you've heard me cry, you've heard me sing
now once again i lift to you
this simple prayer

i know i am a sinful man
with unclean lips and unclean hands
yet you have taken me from death
into life


so help me live as your child
a holy temple, a blushing bride
help me love you as i should
until the day that you return

may your people be as one
may your will on earth be done
though we long for kingdom come
we are living here


open our hearts, open our hands
to live out love and take a stand
to show the grace, to show the truth
that is found in you

and i know that we are not
perfect yet, living in this flesh
but in our weakness you are strong
new life has begun


Lord, i would rather have you be
not what i want but what i need
so take my heart and set my gaze
on you

and may i be a light within
this dark world of hurt and sin
though i know it's not my home
i am living here


help me trust you like a child
unafraid to laugh, unafraid to cry
and hold on tightly to my hand
when i don't understand

Lord, you are a loving King
you hear me cry, you hear me sing
so once again i lift to you
this simple prayer

dreams

tonight the hardest part of leaving
is letting all the old scars go
the mud below my feet is reaching
to pull me down, swallow me whole

i'm staring now at the horizon
the promise of a further shore
hope was not what i had hoped it would be
it's hard to hope in love alone

dreams
our bittersweet melodies
release
twisted notions of the way things ought to be

twenty years i have been knocking
i will wait for twenty more
he said contentment is for nothing
if you long for nothing more

to be content is not not wanting
i long for something more

the door

september morning and i'm running for the door
there's a place out there i know i've got to go
woke up this morning to a whisper in my head
it said, "hey, this is what you've been waiting for"

so i'm running, yes i'm running for that door

been here a lifetime but never felt at home
i've not yet been to the place that i belong
it's not a question of where i lay my head
i just know there must be something more

so i'm running, yes i'm running for that door
because there must be, there must be something more

i've had this feeling ever since i was a child
a deep awareness that i was not alone
there is this longing haunting my repose
for a symphony this world cannot perform

so i'm running, yes i'm running for that door
and i am longing, longing for that song

and when i'm gone i am not coming back again
tomorrow calls me and it's calling me to live
a life that lasts for more than just today
time to set my sights on a higher place

september morning and i'm running for the door
there's a place out there i know i've got to go
woke up this morning to a screaming in my ears
it said, "hey, this is what you've been waiting for"

in Your hands

whom have i in heaven but you?
who on earth can lift my soul?
where can i go that you aren't there?
i know you hear my every prayer

i wasn't there when you made the heavens
there's so much here that i don't know
my faith has not yet moved a mountain
but your love still calls me home

i'm in your hands
i'm in your plans
it's all that i can do
to rest in this
in your goodness
for you make all things new

i don't why you have made these things
this world of grief and joy
please make me what makes your heart sing
i want to be a joyful noise

there's mystery and majesty in all that speaks of you
i'll always strive to understand
and even if i never do
still i will trust in you

let my life be worship

Lord, here i come to Your presence again
crying "mercy!" oh Lord, it's Your mercy I need."
forgiven and amazed, i fall
at Your feet crying "holy, holy!"

time and time again, You've welcomed me in,
picked me up, and covered my sin.
You, my God, are Creator and King
of all that i am and all that i'll be

Lord, let my life be a worship to You
let my steps beat a song of praise
to praise Your name, no words do i need
so let my life be the melody

Lord, You're faithful to do
what You've promised to do
so i know that You're making me new
crucified for my sin, Lord You died.
now, in You, i believe i'm alive

fervently

well it's 8:10 on a tuesday night
and i'm rummaging thru the pieces of my life
i'm looking for direction
or an answer to the questions on my mind

lord, i don't know where i'm going
i can't see where you're taking me this time
but you said that if i seek you
then i will surely find out in due time

so i will seek you fervently
i'll forsake this world for eternal things
in you i find myself complete
so i seek you... fervently

so now it's 9 o'clock on tuesday
and still i'm feeling mostly undefined
i've heard the voices on the tv
say the answer is in me, myself, and i

but i know that there is more than this
this flesh and bone, this life i live
in you alone, i find my place
i'm not my own, i live only by grace

fervently, fervently, fervently, seeking after thee

and i know that when i seek you
i will surely find you
because you're seeking after me...
fervently, fervently, you're seeking after me

attic window

walking back down the streets of my home
of a childhood long ago
i remember the smiles and laughter
and i remember feeling alone

there sits a child on the porch step
i see tears roll down his face
they remind me of the ocean
and the songs she used to sing

there's a window in the attic
and there's no light on in the hall
and somehow they remind me
of where my heart was scared to go

there are church bells in the distance
but no echo in the snow
and the silence is an omen
of all the things i do not know

i'm looking back down the road i've traveled
i see footprints in the snow
some have held to the straight and narrow
some have wandered to and fro

and the moonlight fades
but the moon won't change
and the night wind takes me home
to a place where i
learned to justify
all the things i do not show

and the memory fades
but the past won't change
and she said, "grace, in time, does grow"
so on a pillow of mercy
i rest my brow
and dream of letting go