20031107

a prayer

Lord, you are my gracious King
you've heard me cry, you've heard me sing
now once again i lift to you
this simple prayer

i know i am a sinful man
with unclean lips and unclean hands
yet you have taken me from death
into life


so help me live as your child
a holy temple, a blushing bride
help me love you as i should
until the day that you return

may your people be as one
may your will on earth be done
though we long for kingdom come
we are living here


open our hearts, open our hands
to live out love and take a stand
to show the grace, to show the truth
that is found in you

and i know that we are not
perfect yet, living in this flesh
but in our weakness you are strong
new life has begun


Lord, i would rather have you be
not what i want but what i need
so take my heart and set my gaze
on you

and may i be a light within
this dark world of hurt and sin
though i know it's not my home
i am living here


help me trust you like a child
unafraid to laugh, unafraid to cry
and hold on tightly to my hand
when i don't understand

Lord, you are a loving King
you hear me cry, you hear me sing
so once again i lift to you
this simple prayer

20031014

dreams

tonight the hardest part of leaving
is letting all the old scars go
the mud below my feet is reaching
to pull me down, swallow me whole

i'm staring now at the horizon
the promise of a further shore
hope was not what i had hoped it would be
it's hard to hope in love alone

dreams
our bittersweet melodies
release
twisted notions of the way things ought to be

twenty years i have been knocking
i will wait for twenty more
he said contentment is for nothing
if you long for nothing more

to be content is not not wanting
i long for something more

20031006

the door

september morning and i'm running for the door
there's a place out there i know i've got to go
woke up this morning to a whisper in my head
it said, "hey, this is what you've been waiting for"

so i'm running, yes i'm running for that door

been here a lifetime but never felt at home
i've not yet been to the place that i belong
it's not a question of where i lay my head
i just know there must be something more

so i'm running, yes i'm running for that door
because there must be, there must be something more

i've had this feeling ever since i was a child
a deep awareness that i was not alone
there is this longing haunting my repose
for a symphony this world cannot perform

so i'm running, yes i'm running for that door
and i am longing, longing for that song

and when i'm gone i am not coming back again
tomorrow calls me and it's calling me to live
a life that lasts for more than just today
time to set my sights on a higher place

september morning and i'm running for the door
there's a place out there i know i've got to go
woke up this morning to a screaming in my ears
it said, "hey, this is what you've been waiting for"

20030901

more

do you ever feel like you're on the edge?
like everything could change in a heartbeat
and the world will never be the same?
i feel it--
that intuition that this isn't it.
the road i'm on will not be my path for long or forever.
i feel so very... temporary.
there's something more;
i just can't see it yet.
the change will come one day, maybe soon.
either the world will change or i will.
and if i change, i might just change the world.
i am almost becoming who i am,
who He's made me to be.
i've been cracked.
i've been broken.
i've been shaken to the core.
but i'm not free yet.
one of these days, i'll flap my wings.
i feel closest to it
when i sing,
when i write,
when i stare at the sky,
or look in her eyes.
and i know He's there.
and i know there's a reason.
though i may never have the words,
i know there's a reason.
each heartbeat is for more than the next.
life's more than just living.
else why is there Love?

20030224

in Your hands

whom have i in heaven but you?
who on earth can lift my soul?
where can i go that you aren't there?
i know you hear my every prayer

i wasn't there when you made the heavens
there's so much here that i don't know
my faith has not yet moved a mountain
but your love still calls me home

i'm in your hands
i'm in your plans
it's all that i can do
to rest in this
in your goodness
for you make all things new

i don't why you have made these things
this world of grief and joy
please make me what makes your heart sing
i want to be a joyful noise

there's mystery and majesty in all that speaks of you
i'll always strive to understand
and even if i never do
still i will trust in you

20030108

short but tall

there's a weariness in my soul.
it draws my head down and tugs at my eyelids.
the cares of this world.
my cross.
hardly a cross by many measures,
but the only one i've known.
still it won't break me.
it can't.
and that by no strength of mine.
there is steel in me yet not me.
it is a wondrous thing.
to know He's there.
to feel Him.
there's a laughter there.
at the end of me i find a strange laughter in my chest.
it is good.
strong.
sure.
have you ever stood at the edge of a high cliff,
looked down,
and realized the immensity of the ground beneath your feet?
the unmoving strength of stone and earth that holds you so high?
stand there.
rest on that foundation.
enjoy the view.
and laugh.
like a child on daddy's shoulders.
short but tall.
weak but strong.
the weight's not yours to bear alone.