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tonight

tonight, the summer air cools my head, arousing feelings my mind fails to describe.
they overwhelm me. it is easier with my eyes closed, when i let my thoughts
descend into the bitter hopes, the dreams, and the warm flow of nostalgia that
ripples in my head, stirred from the depths by the sweet night air.
these times, these are the source of my inspiration. for a time, today slips from
my hands and dissipates into the city street light leaving me naked before the vigilant stars. unrestrained, unfettered, open-eyed and breathing deeply i can see my life clearly.
the nakedness is hard to stand. no, it is hard to stand. the urge within is to run, not for covering, not away from any eyes that might learn my secrets, my body aches to just run. run until the ache is no more, until i reach an edge where i can look out and find the meaning, find the end, the purpose--to run until i know why i'm running or i can run no more. am i alone? is there any other who runs after a place to stand? to stand without the ache? is it even there? will we find it and look back, look back over the worlds we crossed so long ago and smile ever so slightly? such thoughts, such wild dreams. surely this is inspiration, desperation, insanity, and despair. are they so different? though i surely tread among the presumptously grandiose, i must offer this. these few years we have, this life, this is too much to see, too much to understand. if there is any end to the ache or any place to stand, it will not be found while we yet breath. and perhaps, that is for the best.
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